On The Back Burner

There will always be some aspect of life that doesn’t get the attention it needs.  Things that stay on “the back burner”.  Finishing a book, organizing the hall closet, exercise, etc.  If you’re normal, you have plenty of projects that you can’t get to.  I know I do!

Recently, something very important has made its way to that position of low priority and attention.  We haven’t been able to give it the time and focus it deserves.

It’s our marriage.

So many demands – like piles of dishes, cooking, laundry, a crying baby, work, sleep – were all taking our time.  None of them seemed like something that could be ignored, so “us time” got pushed out.  To the back burner.  Honestly, it’s just one of those seasons where time with my husband is hard to come by.  And we were desperately struggling from the lack of time together.

So this Sunday afternoon, we did something that should drive every clean-freak, organized, get-everything-done, don’t-rest-until-it’s finished kind of person crazy.  We walked out on the huge piles of laundry and dishes (probably the biggest we have ever had!) and chose to sit on the couch in our pjs and watch a movie together.  I’ll admit it was a bit hard to completely focus – the kitchen was a disaster and I had no idea if Ben would have clean clothes for work the next day.  But for that afternoon, all the things that seemed so important just had to move to the back burner.  Spending time together was the biggest priority.

What about you?

Is your marriage getting all the attention and effort it deserves?  What is something in your life that can be dealt with later so you can focus on your marriage for a bit?

Remember that there are always tasks that won’t be completed, and that’s okay.  Sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day.  Just make sure you have your priorities in the right order.  It won’t matter if your list is checked off when your heart is empty.  Keep your marriage off the back burner!

Are You Paying Attention?

This post is part of the Choosing Him book release blog tour.   I am joining author Juana Mikels and other inspiring Christian bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!

Are You Paying Attention?  What my bad habits with technology were communicating to my spouseA few weeks back, Ben and I were spending time together one evening.  He wasn’t talking to me, and had started watching ESPN on the tablet.  I thought we were trying to enjoy being together, so I was a little upset that a basketball game had made an entrance into our evening.  So I asked Ben, “Is everything alright?  Are you doing okay?  Are we okay?” 

To which he replied [Read more…]

When You Don’t Have Enough Time For Each Other

How to keep your marriage going when life is too crazyWe are in one of those seasons where our schedules are interfering with our marriage.  A few weeks ago, I posted about how many hours of quality time you should spend with your spouse.  Read the article here, but I’ll give it away – 15 hours is the magic number.  Right now in the Cross home, the 15 hours isn’t happening.  And we can tell!  So what should you do in seasons like that?

[Read more…]

How Much Time Should You Spend Together A Week?

For couples to have a healthy relationship, what is the amount of time they should spend together each week?How much time should you and your spouse spend together in the course of a week?  Like real, quality time.  How much time do you need?

It’s a good question, and you will find varying answers from people in varying life phases.  From personal experience, I know 20 minutes a day doesn’t cut it.  And then I think back to when we were dating in college and couldn’t get enough of each other.  It wouldn’t be uncommon [Read more…]

Resources for Affordable Getaways

Resources for Married Getaways :  tips and websites to make a weekend with your spouse specialMarried couples need the chance to get away periodically.  Whether a weekend together, babymoon, or celebrating your anniversary, it doesn’t have to be stressful.  In part one, I mentioned a formula for quality time, including one weekend per season (if possible).  Find what works for you . . .Maybe a nice trip for your anniversary, a hotel weekend during your busiest season, and one or two special quality time weekends at home.

Typically, the biggest expenses are travel, lodging, and food.  There are easy ways to cut the price of all three!   [Read more…]

A Yearly Plan to Schedule Quality Marriage Time

A Yearly Plan to Schedule Quality Time With Your Spouse - a plan for daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly time together.Time seems to be a big marriage problem.  Coordinating schedules, finding consistency, and freeing time of interruptions all make it difficult for a couple to maintain their friendship and romantic connection.  Our busy lifestyles have drastically reduced our ability to spend quality time connecting with our spouse.

Here’s how it happens:   [Read more…]