The Divorce Rate and Reality

New study can bring hope and encouragement to your marriageMost of us know the sobering statistic that about half of all marriages end in divorce.  For many church goers, they also know that the divorce rate is the same outside the church as in the church.

But I came across some research this week that discovered something very different (and really important): those statistics are NOT TRUE.  They aren’t the correct, accurate picture of what’s going on in marriage!  That’s good news for couples facing [Read more…]

Is Venting Helpful? – Marriage Myths

The junk food of relationships.  Venting is more dangerous than you think!  realmarriedlife.comI used to think venting helped reduce the weight of a problem.  Sometimes you just need to blow off some steam, right?  Nobody should expect me to be courteous all of the time.  I need to complain behind their back so I don’t end up doing it to their face.

Then I realized that when I vented or complained about someone, it changed the way I interacted with them.  If I spent time griping or “blowing off steam” about someone, I always ended up treating them worse when I was around them later. Less respect, less patience, less love. . .  The very thing I thought could help drove a wedge between us.  I wasn’t actually dealing with the problem.  Instead I was focusing on [Read more…]

Marriage Methods That Fail

Marriage Myth:  Find success in your marriage by differentiating between methods and principles.  Learn to solve problems together by figuring out how to apply marriage principles.

Maybe you’re reading a marriage book by a couple who successfully navigated the bumpy road of conflict.  You follow step-by-step what they did, but it doesn’t solve your marital problems.

Or your friend gives you suggestions about what do in your free time with your spouse, but their idea of hiking outdoors makes you dread the weekend.

Well friends, you just came across another marriage myth. This is it:  contrary to what we think sometimes [Read more…]

Marriage Myths: “My Soul Mate”

Marriage Myths:  Should you really expect your spouse to be your soul mate?  Article about marriage from realmarriedlife.com

My husband is not my soul mate.

That’s right – two people that are best friends, serve each other, and genuinely enjoy marriage are not soul mates.  When I stop trying to make him complete me or be the only source for my happiness, I give us both a lot of freedom.

Now our decision to marry was guided on many levels – prayerfully, in the counsel of each other’s friends and family, and from mentors far wiser than us.  I am so sure of my love for him and his for me, and I am so glad that we married and share a life together.  But does this mean that I think we just landed in each other’s laps, destined to be together because he was the only one on earth capable of completing me? [Read more…]