I’m having a season of life where God is teaching me so many lessons. Often I find myself journaling, trying to extract the lessons I’m supposed to be learning in hopes I don’t miss them. My head is spinning most days trying to keep up with everything! It seems every aspect of my life is under painful refinement right now. My relationship with God. My eating and health habits. My identity issues. My relationships with family and friends. My role as a mom. And certainly my marriage.
I started meeting with a mentor a few months back – to talk about being a wife and mom. I wasn’t looking for accountability or admonishment. I really just wanted some encouragement. About 20 minutes into our first conversation, I realized my deep need for both as she uncovered a marital struggle I didn’t know was an issue for me!
It’s an issue every wife has. But I had always prided myself in this area. I’ve always desired for the man to lead the home. I’ve always thought the husband should guide the marriage. I’ve never wanted the responsibility of controlling so much, and I’m happy to have a leader!
Until now. For the first time in our relationship of almost 6 years, we don’t have the luxuries our marriage had before. Things like patience to discuss things rationally because we were both well rested from 8 wonderful hours of sleep. Or time to converse without interruption. Or clarity to focus on just my spouse. Having a baby has changed me as a wife – for the worse! Not only has our situation changed, but my heart has changed.
I’m bossy, arrogant, selfish, doubting. I’m struggling with submission! And I know I’m not alone.
That’s where I’m focusing the blog this summer. I excited to share with you the lessons I’m learning. As well as writing about my own struggles, I have some great stories from some blogger friends and mentors in my life, and I can’t wait for you to hear them! We will talk about what submission is, what it isn’t, and why it’s so worthwhile and difficult at the same time.
Check back next week for the first post in this series!