Wow! It has been a long time since I’ve been on here! Life has been in such a weird season for us, and I’ve just felt like I’ve been stuck in a tunnel. At some point I’ll share more about my postpartum journey, but for now I’ll just say we haven’t had the easiest go at this baby-makes-three thing. Between health issues for me and baby (all able to be dealt with and nothing life threatening, thankfully!), being a first time mom is nothing like what I expected. It’s hard and I haven’t enjoyed most of it to be honest.
But over the last weeks, I had made some resolutions. And I’ve gained some great perspective about what being a mom is. And what it isn’t.
I’ve learned that moms really can’t fix everything.
This one really stinks for me. By nature I am a problem solver, and I can do whatever I put my mind to. And if I can’t then I typically don’t bother. But sometimes all the effort in the world isn’t enough. It kills me that I’m not capable of fixing everything, but it was about time to learn this lesson! I must accept that there will be things that I can’t just fix for my children just because I try really hard. It’s just my job to deal with the problems as they come. Which leads me to the next lesson…
I’ve learned that a happy mom is not without problems.
Somehow I’ve managed to make it this far and think that once “a, b, and c” happened, then I could be happy. Finally enjoy my life, my role as a mom, and my time as a homemaker. But things don’t happen on my schedule and one solution will inevitably be replaced with a new problem. I am learning to be full of joy in spite of the weariness, the uncertainty, and the problems. If I can’t be happy now, I never will be!
I’ve learned that I don’t have what it takes.
This mom thing is so far over my head and out of my comfort zone! I don’t have the perseverance, the patience, or the power to be a great mom. Many days I don’t feel I have what it takes to get to lunchtime! But God does. This season has developed such a sweet trust in my Jesus. And the reliance on him that has come, would have never been found any other way. So I don’t have what it takes – but I am equipped for this daily when I cry out for strength and God answers. And it’s been incredible.
I’ve learned to make peace with my life.
I have wasted so many months just wishing and waiting for things to be my little fairytale of motherhood. But this is it! This is our life, and it is good! There are certain parts of life that aren’t going anywhere. Make peace with the endless laundry, the sleepless nights, the adjustment to our marriage, whatever I want to change but can’t ….make peace so I can start enjoying the life I do have.
Life is full of lessons. Lessons that come from the hard times and will change you for the better if you let them. I cannot begin to describe the difference these lessons have made in my joy as a mom, my interactions with my husband, my outlook to the future, and my love for life. When I can value my identity as a mom for what it is (instead of what it isn’t!), life is richer and fuller. I hope my lessons and sharing a bit of our real family life bring you a challenge and encouragement on this Mother’s Day!