What I Learned From Watching My Mom

What matters after 34 years of marriage - lessons about being a wifeMy mom’s birthday is this week, so Happy Birthday to her!  My parents have been married for 34 years, and their relationship means so much to me.  My two sisters and I have learned so much about the role of a wife from watching our mom.  Here are some of the best lessons I’ve learned about being a wife over the years:



Marriage preparation outweighs wedding planning.

First I have to mention that when my older sister and I each married, my mom was the perfect wedding assistant.  She pulled off some incredible DIY projects on a tiny wedding budget (even before Pinterest existed!).  She’s awesome at that stuff.  BUT that was never where she encouraged us to focus our time and energy leading up to the wedding.  She gave us several marriage books to read and made sure the wedding didn’t consume us.  We knew that a life of marriage was a much bigger deal than our wedding day would be.

Domestic support can be really rewarding.

My mom was a stay-at-home mom who worked from home for over 20 years.  I watched her take care of the house, pack my dad’s lunch, mend clothes, cook dinner everyday, carpool, pay bills, and manage our household.  And she made it look important.  Anyone else might call it “chores” or “housework” but my mom always seemed to view it as a supporting role in their marriage.  After watching her, I love being able to do those things for Ben, and I can’t wait to manage our home for a family someday.  There must have been moments when that part of being a wife and mom was difficult, but I also saw the satisfaction she felt.  This part of being a wife doesn’t have to be a chore – it can be really gratifying with the right attitude.

Biblical submission is possible.

My parents had disagreements in front of us, and I know their opinions didn’t always match.  But I never remember a time when my mom undermined my dad.  I knew they were on the same team, even when they didn’t think the same.  It’s a difficult balance to be partners, and at the same time submit to the husband.  Honestly, submission is really hard to understand and probably even harder to explain.  But watching our mom’s example made us believe that it’s possible.

Your husband should be your best friend.

When the day in grade school came when all of the little girls started exchanging Best Friend necklaces and keychains, I remember asking my mom who her best friend was.  As a 2nd grader, I remember being really surprised when she said it was my dad.  But watching them over the years, and now having my husband Ben as my best friend, I know what a blessing that is.  Not only have my parents been life partners, parenting partners, and business partners – – they are best friends.

I love them both and am so grateful for the lessons learned.

What keeps marriage strong for 34 years?  Best friends.


  1. Loved reading about your mom! Thank you for sharing her beautiful example with us!

  2. Hi Jo!

    What books did your Mom recommend? My boyfriend and I have been taking steps to foresee a future for us together. Reading material is always helpful!


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  3. Joining you today from Messy Marriage. I hope, some day, that my daughters talk about my husband and I the way you have about your parents. They [parents] may never know the complete impact they have on a child’s life until they have experienced the same season of living they have been through.
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  4. I love this post Jo, so many great lessons from your mum. You have amazing parents! Not many in world today have that and it’s simply a blessing that has been passed to another generation! A (belated) happy anniversary to your mum and dad!
    Ngina Otiende recently posted…Building Our Marriage Around God’s StandardMy Profile

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