Can You Marry Too Young?

The difficulties of getting married young and the rewards.  Is it worth it?I remember the week Ben asked me to be his girlfriend.  I was like a giddy little kid!  But this was different than most college romances – Ben was very upfront about his intentions and treated our relationship with the seriousness it deserved.  And a little over a year later, we were married!

Becoming a wife at the young age of 22, I hear comments that make me feel I have to explain our choice to marry young.  Some people think it’s strange. . .making a commitment for life before even getting a college diploma!  Society seems to think marrying young means sacrificing too much or being destined to a struggling marriage.

Sure, it will be a challenge, but what if getting married early may actually bring more rewards than challenges?

For me, being in a committed relationship helped me grow up.  Suddenly I was faced with decisions that carried a great deal of weight.  And getting married made us deal with adulthood with a greater seriousness because our decisions affected someone else.  What I did in my free time, whether I did my dishes, how I spent money, my investment in my spiritual life – it all impacted Ben as well.  I know that my life now as a 26 year old looks so different than it could have.  And I am grateful for the ways I have grown.

Please don’t hear that I think you have to be married, or married young, to be a serious adult.  I have plenty of adult friends that I look up to for their maturity, who happen to be single.  Selfishness and maturity are choices, much like everything in life.  Marriage happens to be one of life’s situations that give plenty of opportunity to make these choices.

So, should you wait to marry?  That should depend on why you’re waiting.  But we have to keep in mind that marital struggles will happen – at any age.  And sacrifices have to be made no matter where you are in life.  But the growth and rewards of being committed in marriage will be treasured for many years.

Young Wife’s Perspective

I have three friends with something in common:  they each married at age 19.  Barely high school graduates!  I would love to share their perspectives about how their marriages have been rewarding.  They also have some great advice to share – for any relationship and any age.

Benefits and challenges of marrying young | realmarriedlife.comWe do get a funny look when we say how old we were when we got married.  We have made plenty of mistakes and learned a lot over the past 6.5 years, but I know that a reliance on Jesus’ grace and the valuable foundation of both of our parents has made all the difference.

Marrying young isn’t right for everyone, but for us… we knew so there was no point in waiting. God honors marriage and provides a way to make that happen.  At ages 19 & 20, we had to learn and grow up together in a lot of ways, but that also meant we were more adaptable.  No matter the age, you should never stop learning one another.

– Savannah Garcia, everydaypitterpatter.com

Benefits and challenges of getting married young | realmarriedlife.comWhen you fall in love with a Godly man why would you want to wait to spend the rest of your life together?  We saw no joy or added benefit in dating and waiting.  Getting married much older seemed to be just as big of an adjustment as marrying very young.  I am so grateful for marrying the love of my life at such a young age because we get to spend more years together making memories and building a foundation for our future.

We knew there would be setbacks, finances would be tight, we wouldn’t be able to go on holidays and travel like others our age, but we made a plan for our early years of marriage and just stuck to it.  Having kids and finishing degrees was our first 5 year goal and it was our joint focus and efforts that made our marriage stronger.

We didn’t want to live a single life as a married couple.  We wanted to embrace all that marriage and family life had as God intended.  And putting Christ’s agenda ahead of our own ambitions is what has glued our souls together in marriage.

– Jenny Cupido, jennycupido.com

Benefits and challenges of marrying young | realmarriedlife.com

I married my best friend when I was 19 and he was 20, and he was my high school sweetheart before that. We have grown up together – we are completely different now than we were when we started dating or got married, but the blessing is that we have grown up TOGETHER. He knows me better than anyone – how I like my pizza, which 90’s romantic comedy is my favorite, what will make me laugh, and exactly how to push my buttons.  We have started new jobs, moved out-of-state, bought a house, and had a baby.

Of course it hasn’t always been easy, and sometimes I am tempted to think that we have gone through difficult times in our marriage because we got married young, but really it was just because we got married.

Getting married young isn’t for everyone, but I wouldn’t trade a day of being married to him for anything.

– Megan Harney, witandwander.org

Getting married young isn’t right for everybody, but it isn’t wrong for everybody, either. Every marriage will face challenges–whether you get married at 19, 29, or 79. But those challenges can be the very things that enrich your relationship in the long run. It doesn’t matter how old you are; what matters is how committed you are, how selfless you are, and how you choose to embrace the life you get to live with the love of your life.

Comments

  1. I got married when I was 20 and don’t regret it at all! I definitely think (like everything else) it’s not for everyone and it would make things much harder for some people. I am incredibly grateful that my husband and I got to grow up together. We were 18 when we fell in love and from that time we got to turn into who we would be as adults together, and I think that it has actually made our married life easier.
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  2. Great to read this, I think Christians often marry younger. I didn’t get married until I was neary 29 but then I also did not become a Christain until the same time.

    I’m a bit worried ot think my boy coudl potentially eb married in 8 years if he as 19!

    Mich x
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  3. We married when I was 19. My husband had known me and my family since I was a baby. See, he is almost 5 yrs older than me. We determined from the beginning that the dreaded “D” word would never be in our marriage vocabulary. We will celebrate 17 years this month. We’ve had our share of ups & downs, but there is no one else I would rather grow old with.

  4. Great line Savannah – ‘we knew so there was no point in waiting’. We have family friends who married and had kids young and they still did all the usual life adventures (Started businesses, travelled, birthed a church etc…) They said it took effort but it’s totally doable!

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