Why I Check Up On My Husband

Should you check in with your spouse everyday?  Article about communicate from realmarriedlife.comBen and I contact each other at some point throughout the day – everyday.

It’s not that I feel the need to be nosy.  And it’s not that I have to know what he’s doing at every given moment.  Here’s what it is… It’s important for us to hear from each other and feel connected even when we’re apart.  It’s part of how we continually build our friendship and marriage.  Here’s a few ways that we find this to be beneficial:

 Keep Each Other Informed

So much can happen in a day when you are apart.  It’s so beneficial when we can exchange information all day.  For one thing – I am very forgetful, so there are some things I need to tell Ben right away or I’ll forget later!

It’s good for us to know if things are still going according to plan.  If one of us will be later getting home than we thought or if dinner plans have changed, the other needs to know.  I’m never surprised when Ben comes home late, because he’s given me notice.  I really appreciate his text that he thinks he may be later at work, and then another text when he’s actually coming home.

By over-communicating your plans with your spouse, you can give them peace of mind.  Give them a time estimate they can have in mind.  If your shopping trip runs late or your plans change, give them a heads-up.  You can build a deeper intimacy and trust by doing this and avoid a lot of anxiety!  Shoot them a text before it gets to the point they would become frustrated.

Know How The Day Is Going

It’s nice to have a constant dialogue going all day.  We text each other when something exciting or funny happens, because we want to share about our day.

If you’re having a rough day, don’t wait to share that once you get home.  Knowing what to expect can take some pressure off those first 20-30 minutes when you get home.  If Ben’s having a difficult time, I want to know so I can be praying for him and try to encourage him.  And if things are crazy for me, I want him to know what he will find before he walks in the door.  It just really helps with expectations.

Remind Them That We’re Thinking About Them

It feels good to be affirmed throughout the day and know that my husband is thinking of me.  Do whatever you can to keep romance going even when you’re apart.  Sometimes it’s a quick “love you” or “miss you” text that takes 2 seconds to send.  Sometimes it’s a longer email or note.  If we come across a funny video or article that the other may enjoy, we forward it to each other.  Every once in a while, if I’m running errands that take me close to his office, I will stop and leave a note on his car dashboard for him to find after work.  It makes us feel special when we can do things like this.

It’s just nice to have each other on our minds and to know that even when we are apart, we can be connected.

What are your favorite ways to connect with your spouse when you’re apart?

Check out my post on how to sync your calendars for another great way to communicate with your spouse!

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  1. Very good post, and a very important thing to do.

    It’s important to be consistent, and not let a habit of checking up falter, because few things are lonelier than the phone which doesn’t ring, or the text which no longer arrives. Care has to be nurtured.

  2. My husband and I do the same thing. We’re best friends, and that is what best friends do :)

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