The Divorce Rate and Reality

New study can bring hope and encouragement to your marriageMost of us know the sobering statistic that about half of all marriages end in divorce.  For many church goers, they also know that the divorce rate is the same outside the church as in the church.

But I came across some research this week that discovered something very different (and really important): those statistics are NOT TRUE.  They aren’t the correct, accurate picture of what’s going on in marriage!  That’s good news for couples facing [Read more…]

You Might Be a Drama Queen If…

You Might Be A Drama Queen If... Help for marriages from realmarriedlife.comIn our relationships, it’s important to recognize what they thrive on.  For many, life is most satisfying in the midst of excitement and adventure!  This kind of person brings a lot of joy and energy to those around them.  They are always searching for variety in life (trying new food, vacations, fun competition, new family traditions, sight-seeing, etc.) to keep the relationship from getting stale or boring.  They have a very passionate marriage because [Read more…]

Lessons Learned No Other Way

Getting through the tough seasons in your marriage by treasuring the lessons learned togetherThe last couple of months, Ben and I have felt like we’re moving through life and everything is just happening to us.  Do you know what I mean?  It feels like there’s way too much going on and too little that we’re in control of.  Knowing us, our normal life is fairly structured, planned, and has down time when we need it.  It’s predictable and we like it.  But to be honest, 2014 has been tough.  Not planned, not predictable, and lots to worry about.

But just over the last couple of weeks, [Read more…]

What I Learned From Watching My Mom

What matters after 34 years of marriage - lessons about being a wifeMy mom’s birthday is this week, so Happy Birthday to her!  My parents have been married for 34 years, and their relationship means so much to me.  My two sisters and I have learned so much about the role of a wife from watching our mom.  Here are some of the best lessons I’ve learned about being a wife over the years:

 

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When You Don’t Have Enough Time For Each Other

How to keep your marriage going when life is too crazyWe are in one of those seasons where our schedules are interfering with our marriage.  A few weeks ago, I posted about how many hours of quality time you should spend with your spouse.  Read the article here, but I’ll give it away – 15 hours is the magic number.  Right now in the Cross home, the 15 hours isn’t happening.  And we can tell!  So what should you do in seasons like that?

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Is Venting Helpful? – Marriage Myths

The junk food of relationships.  Venting is more dangerous than you think!  realmarriedlife.comI used to think venting helped reduce the weight of a problem.  Sometimes you just need to blow off some steam, right?  Nobody should expect me to be courteous all of the time.  I need to complain behind their back so I don’t end up doing it to their face.

Then I realized that when I vented or complained about someone, it changed the way I interacted with them.  If I spent time griping or “blowing off steam” about someone, I always ended up treating them worse when I was around them later. Less respect, less patience, less love. . .  The very thing I thought could help drove a wedge between us.  I wasn’t actually dealing with the problem.  Instead I was focusing on [Read more…]