On The Back Burner

There will always be some aspect of life that doesn’t get the attention it needs.  Things that stay on “the back burner”.  Finishing a book, organizing the hall closet, exercise, etc.  If you’re normal, you have plenty of projects that you can’t get to.  I know I do!

Recently, something very important has made its way to that position of low priority and attention.  We haven’t been able to give it the time and focus it deserves.

It’s our marriage.

So many demands – like piles of dishes, cooking, laundry, a crying baby, work, sleep – were all taking our time.  None of them seemed like something that could be ignored, so “us time” got pushed out.  To the back burner.  Honestly, it’s just one of those seasons where time with my husband is hard to come by.  And we were desperately struggling from the lack of time together.

So this Sunday afternoon, we did something that should drive every clean-freak, organized, get-everything-done, don’t-rest-until-it’s finished kind of person crazy.  We walked out on the huge piles of laundry and dishes (probably the biggest we have ever had!) and chose to sit on the couch in our pjs and watch a movie together.  I’ll admit it was a bit hard to completely focus – the kitchen was a disaster and I had no idea if Ben would have clean clothes for work the next day.  But for that afternoon, all the things that seemed so important just had to move to the back burner.  Spending time together was the biggest priority.

What about you?

Is your marriage getting all the attention and effort it deserves?  What is something in your life that can be dealt with later so you can focus on your marriage for a bit?

Remember that there are always tasks that won’t be completed, and that’s okay.  Sometimes there aren’t enough hours in the day.  Just make sure you have your priorities in the right order.  It won’t matter if your list is checked off when your heart is empty.  Keep your marriage off the back burner!

Can You Marry Too Young?

The difficulties of getting married young and the rewards.  Is it worth it?I remember the week Ben asked me to be his girlfriend.  I was like a giddy little kid!  But this was different than most college romances – Ben was very upfront about his intentions and treated our relationship with the seriousness it deserved.  And a little over a year later, we were married!

Becoming a wife at the young age of 22, I hear comments that make me feel I have to explain our choice to marry young.  Some people think it’s strange. . .making a commitment for life before even getting a college diploma!  Society seems to [Read more…]

Are You Paying Attention?

This post is part of the Choosing Him book release blog tour.   I am joining author Juana Mikels and other inspiring Christian bloggers. To learn more and join us, CLICK HERE!

Are You Paying Attention?  What my bad habits with technology were communicating to my spouseA few weeks back, Ben and I were spending time together one evening.  He wasn’t talking to me, and had started watching ESPN on the tablet.  I thought we were trying to enjoy being together, so I was a little upset that a basketball game had made an entrance into our evening.  So I asked Ben, “Is everything alright?  Are you doing okay?  Are we okay?” 

To which he replied [Read more…]

Why I Check Up On My Husband

Should you check in with your spouse everyday?  Article about communicate from realmarriedlife.comBen and I contact each other at some point throughout the day – everyday.

It’s not that I feel the need to be nosy.  And it’s not that I have to know what he’s doing at every given moment.  Here’s what it is… It’s important for us to hear from each other and feel connected even when we’re apart.  It’s part of how we continually build our friendship and marriage.  Here’s a few ways that we find this to be beneficial: [Read more…]

Quit Asking Your Spouse How Their Day Was

Stop Asking Your Spouse How Their Day WasAfter a day apart, the first thing Ben and I ask each other when we get home is “How was your day?”  I’ve missed him all day long and can’t wait to be together!  I’m sure most of you do the same.  But lately we’re learning that’s the wrong question to ask… It’s not often [Read more…]

Am I A Good Wife?

Reminders about what actually makes us a good spouse | Marriage thoughts from realmarriedlife.comEarly this morning, Ben and I had such a sweet time talking – coffee for him, hot tea for me.  We were reminiscing, sharing funny thoughts. . . it was one of those great mornings together before we rushed off to start the day.  As we were talking, Ben told me I was a good wife.  What a wonderfully sweet thing to say.

It should have put a smile on my face to receive such a compliment from him – the only qualified judge of that.  But it didn’t.  I started to tear up and told him I didn’t believe him.  And I really didn’t.  I just felt guilty.  I told him of all the things around the house I hadn’t finished, the chores I was behind on, the things I hadn’t accomplished, the lack of time I had to focus on doing stuff for him – all qualifying me as a “bad wife.”

Have you ever felt like that?  That your success or failure all depends on [Read more…]