5 Ways To Submit To Your Husband

This is a guest post from my friend Jenny in the Summer Submission Series, which I kicked off last week.  She blogs at jennycupido.com, writing about relationships, parenting, and faith. In the past, she shared on Real Married Life about getting married at age 19.  Jenny and her husband Tyron live in England and have four kids.  She has some great advice for wives about how submission can bring peace to our homes and joy in our marriages!


5 Ways to Submit | realmarriedlife.comIt may come as a surprise to you to hear that the word ‘submit’ is a verb.  And verbs mean action.  We have to get ourselves into the action of submitting to our husbands, not just thinking it!  So to give you some really straight up practical ideas of what we can actually ‘do’ I’m going to share 5 ways to submit to your husband on a daily basis.

I am one of those people who always comes up with the perfect response, solution, answer about a day or two AFTER the conversation.  That doesn’t mean I talk any less in said conversation, but I will always come back to it in a couple of days and have that light bulb moment where pure genius strikes with the perfect solution.

Rehashing such things has led me to reflect many times not just on my words, but my emotions and attitude. This is where the holy spirit really had to get to work in my life, because submission is ALWAYS easier ‘said’ than ‘done’.

We know that we’re called to submit to our husbands, and we all want to be Godly loving wives, so us ladies like to talk about all the things we do to submit to our husbands by telling our friends how we still let them live with us even though they don’t know how to turn the oven on. Hilarious, right?

Um….so, so wrong!

This kind of humiliating talk is the complete opposite of submission and leads me straight into point number one of my 5 ways to submit to your husband.

 5 Ways To Submit

1. Don’t humiliate your husband by sharing their embarrassing habits or stories with your friends.

Your marriage is a sacred covenant and shouldn’t be used as the butt of a joke.  Don’t betray their trust or respect for you by bad mouthing about them with your girlfriends in an effort to get a few laughs or show off your superiority in the marriage.

5 Ways To Submit

2. Don’t contradict their decisions in public – especially in front of the children

(I’m literally cringing while typing as I am SOOOOO guilty of this one!). 

There is nothing more belittling or humiliating to your husband than you calling him out in public and giving out new orders more to your liking.  Let your husband be the husband and if there’s a serious flaw you can discuss it – LATER, in private where you can agree on how to move forward together.

Just on a side note, being in agreement is a HUGE part of having a successful marriage and family, so start practicing now.

5 Ways To Submit

3. Take the time to care.

This may seem silly, but I’ve gone through some tough seasons of marriage and parenthood where I couldn’t possibly imagine my husband had anything more worthwhile going on in his life than in mine.

This was a huge mistake and I was actually shutting my husband out by not caring enough about him.  Give him your attention, time and devotion because you’re his wife, not his maid. Ask him about his day, how he’s been doing at work or a few simple questions about how he’s feeling about something relevant to your lives and think about ways to be encouraging or helpful (without telling him what to do!). You just might be surprised by their response.

 5 Ways To Submit

4. Follow their lead. 

This follows on from number two, but it was a seriously big lesson for me.  I’m a natural leader so, of course, I know best about everything.  It was a long process to be able to submit my brilliant ideas to my husbands more conservative notions.  Listening can actually be the first step to submission as so often we don’t take enough time to listen to their reasoning or thought process to really see where the idea is going.

But even if you still think it’s a bad idea when we submit to their decision and come into agreement, we’ll still be blessed despite the outcome because we chose to be united.  Which leads to my next point…

 5 Ways To Submit

5. Pray for your husband.

My mother gave me the sacred book written by Stormie O’Martian, The Power of a Praying Wife, and my blood was literally boiling so hot whilst reading the first chapter that I thought my eyes would start shooting red hot lasers onto the page.

But by the time I finished the book God showed me that my own frustration in marriage was all down to my lack of submission.  I was holding on so tight to my opinions that I was letting the love slowly fade.  It’s a bit sad when I think about it, that my opinions meant more to me than the love of my husband.

We may go through seasons in our marriage where we don’t even want to hold hands with our husband let alone pray for him, but it’s the number one most successful tool in marriage.  Prayer overrides our personal agenda and lands straight on the heart.  It’s where the holy spirit can start to speak to us about our heart attitude towards our husband or a situation and how we can take responsibility in our marriage in a Godly way.

5 Ways To Submit

There is nothing undignified about submission.  Just in case you’re gagging at the thought of submitting to your husband, just know that it is a divine order in marriage that will bring you love as wife and blessing and peace into your home.  You’ll actually see progress in your marriage through submission not just maintenance.  Now that’s the kind of results I’m looking for!

I pray these 5 ways to submit to your husband will help you kickstart into Godly submission on a daily basis and see some life changing results.


  1. Thanks so much for sharing this Jo. So looking forward to reading the rest of this series. Submission is a life changer in marriage! xx

  2. Awesome post. I think submission is such a hard topic for wives to swallow, but it shows our husbands respect. All of these are so important, especially #1. I was in a situation where one friend started bashing her husband and other wives followed. It made me so sad that they wanted to disrespect and talk about their husbands in that manner and the husbands were in the next room. I have made a vow I will not participate in talk like that. Our husbands should be able to trust we will respect them when they are not around.
    Thank you for these reminders!
    Cherish recently posted…Seeking God Together through Rough TimesMy Profile

  3. Oohh yeah i read that book too by Stormie. Often times i disagree and argue with the words as i read it. Often times i would even close the book and walk away while murmuring…hahaha . its really funny coz my i found my hand itching to get a hold of that book and continue reading again….hmmm..thank u for posting!


  1. […] Head on over to Real Married Life to read my honest and practical post on 5 Ways to Submit to your Husband. […]

  2. […] can read part two written by my sister about following when you are a natural leader.  And check out part one with 5 practical ways to submit from my friend […]

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