Lessons Learned No Other Way

Getting through the tough seasons in your marriage by treasuring the lessons learned togetherThe last couple of months, Ben and I have felt like we’re moving through life and everything is just happening to us.  Do you know what I mean?  It feels like there’s way too much going on and too little that we’re in control of.  Knowing us, our normal life is fairly structured, planned, and has down time when we need it.  It’s predictable and we like it.  But to be honest, 2014 has been tough.  Not planned, not predictable, and lots to worry about.

But just over the last couple of weeks, [Read more...]

What I Learned From Watching My Mom

What matters after 34 years of marriage - lessons about being a wifeMy mom’s birthday is this week, so Happy Birthday to her!  My parents have been married for 34 years, and their relationship means so much to me.  My two sisters and I have learned so much about the role of a wife from watching our mom.  Here are some of the best lessons I’ve learned about being a wife over the years:


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When You Don’t Have Enough Time For Each Other

How to keep your marriage going when life is too crazyWe are in one of those seasons where our schedules are interfering with our marriage.  A few weeks ago, I posted about how many hours of quality time you should spend with your spouse.  Read the article here, but I’ll give it away – 15 hours is the magic number.  Right now in the Cross home, the 15 hours isn’t happening.  And we can tell!  So what should you do in seasons like that?

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Buying A House – Part One

Starting place for first-time homebuyers.  Tips for starting the processWe are in the process of closing on our first home!  It’s been a journey of lots of research and loads of paperwork, but we are less than two weeks away from becoming homeowners!

The two things I’m most excited about:  having a garden and our own washer and dryer.  It’s been almost three years of coin laundry (plus the four years before of doing laundry in my college dorm), and I can’t believe how excited I am about that laundry room.

Throughout the process, we have learned [Read more...]

Marriage E-Book

I stubbled across the writings of Tyler Ward after reading his marriage article featured on Relevant Magazine’s site.  The title is “3 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married.”  The article is worth reading, but I would recommend a step further – the full (free!) e-book available on his site.

It’s called Rethink Marriage.  The book is a great resource for marriages, young and old.  He challenges our views of marriage’s perks and purposes, and backs it up with results from a social experiment conducted in his own home.  I think you’ll find it insightful for your view of marriage.

REthink Marriage Link

The book is free, available for download on his site, tylerwardis.com.  You will need to sign up for his newsletter, which I only get every few weeks and love the blurbs about latest posts.  Follow this link for the book.

Check it out!

Is Venting Helpful? – Marriage Myths

The junk food of relationships.  Venting is more dangerous than you think!  realmarriedlife.comI used to think venting helped reduce the weight of a problem.  Sometimes you just need to blow off some steam, right?  Nobody should expect me to be courteous all of the time.  I need to complain behind their back so I don’t end up doing it to their face.

Then I realized that when I vented or complained about someone, it changed the way I interacted with them.  If I spent time griping or “blowing off steam” about someone, I always ended up treating them worse when I was around them later. Less respect, less patience, less love. . .  The very thing I thought could help drove a wedge between us.  I wasn’t actually dealing with the problem.  Instead I was focusing on [Read more...]